Paperfake

2012-01-30T03:04:00.001+08:00

i have nothing against you but how long till you look at your own life instead of looking into mine? how long till you're leaving us alone? don't you got somewhere to go? please stop telling all your friends, I'm getting sick of them always staring at me like I took him from ya.
everything in life is temporary. sonic things are doing good, enjoy it because it won't last forever. And if things are going bad, don't worry. It can't last forever either.

2012-01-24T15:20:00.000+08:00

Thing is, I really don't wna hear how he's doing or who he's together with or what he's up to. I've forgiven it all but I will never forget how he tore it all apart.

2012-01-17T13:11:00.002+08:00

yes I have lotsa tattoos and that doesn't make me a bad person. AND you're as fake as that padded bra you're wearing. BITCH PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

2012-01-10T10:59:00.001+08:00

in another life, i would be your girl

2012-01-03T19:20:00.000+08:00

hehehehe i miss united states so much and i dyed my hair reddddddish pink. :p

2012-01-03T04:51:00.001+08:00

i feel like i just escaped death. tokyo had an earthquake 3 days after i left.
hehe

dearest bff

2011-11-23T03:59:00.001+08:00

though we stopped talking for almost a year I still think about you countless of times and telling my boyfriend how much I miss you and the times we had together.....i do not know the reason(s) why or whatever happened to us that made us stop talking. I tried asking around about you but i couldn't get an answer. what is hurting me is that you could talk to others but not me and yet you left me hanging when I was trying so hard to get back in contact with you because you know that how important you ARE in my life and I would never give up on our friendship.
You're most welcome back into my life because I have so many things to tell you but it's okay if you find it the best if we keep it this way...I hope you still remember about 16 December 2011....hope you're doing well now and please take care of yourself.

Avalon pioneer badge bar team outing at Cuba libre.

2011-11-09T02:53:00.001+08:00

2011-10-12T17:08:00.001+08:00

few days back i was so pissed to the extend that i actually went to snip my hair off.

2011-10-06T16:19:00.002+08:00

i'm back to home after a long stay at my boy's place. things are going quite smoothly for me, and i'm working at Avalon and the people there are amazing. as much as i complain how tiring my feet are after 12 hours of wearing heels walking around running the show. we work and party at the same time and i pretty much enjoy working at Avalon.

2011-09-20T12:24:00.000+08:00

i love my job.

2011-09-13T15:16:00.002+08:00

Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink… but if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love… if you must steal, steal from bad company… if you must cheat, cheat death… and if you must drink, drink in the momments that take your breath away.

"Let’s play a game: The rules are simple. I kiss you, but you can’t kiss me. Neither your lips nor fingers can reach for me. And if you lose you have to answer to the pizza delivery man in my panties. "

2011-09-06T14:47:00.000+08:00

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

2011-08-14T23:29:00.004+08:00

boyfriend and I stayed at marina bay sands hotel during zeeee weekends!

"Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry

You don't know how lovely you are"

2011-08-09T23:59:00.001+08:00

I do not know if you really love me or you reallyreally love me?

2011-08-08T00:14:00.001+08:00

thank you for leaving me bestfriend.

2011-08-05T11:22:00.002+08:00

my boyfriend rides a hayley davidson, his sister's boyfriend rides a ducati. and i only own a fz16 :'( i feel so inferiorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

2011-08-03T14:15:00.005+08:00

2011-07-26T13:53:00.001+08:00

I MUST LEARN TO BAKE MACAROONS. >:(

2011-07-01T13:56:00.001+08:00

heeheehee fz16 come to mommy. ^^

2011-06-25T12:03:00.001+08:00

got helmet, no bike and no boyfriend but I have my babygirlz.

2011-06-23T18:56:00.000+08:00

infection eyes.......... :'(((((((((((((((((((((((

2011-06-08T12:36:00.001+08:00

i had a blast on my birthday. thank you everyoneeeee!

2011-06-04T11:27:00.001+08:00

going to the beach w the boy :))))))))))))))))) heeeeheeeeeheeeeeeee

2011-06-01T12:11:00.001+08:00

we're just... friends?

2011-05-26T21:02:00.004+08:00

11 days to my 18th birthday! but I hate the fact that my birthday is on a monday... :(

i wonder how my birthday would be like year................. teeheehee

and i could quickly picture my birthday last year was spent with my family, akiko, kenny and yoji. Idk why but for me, it's a must to celebrate with my family and akiko. It just feels weird if I don't. Like a cultural thing uh? hahahahaha.

and and and there's soooooooo many things I want! Sooooooooooooo maybe I should name them. (Just in case you guys might wanna get me any presents, i'll lessen your burden -winks-)

i want or maybe need,

a HUGE jug of cookies

a box filled with chocoooolates!

vodka, jaggermister, bacardi!stouts, beers! D: D: D:

topshop vouchers ^^

mid-cut vans

ego and greed two hundred in neon pink :(

rachel antonoff by bass alice in navy

jeffrey campbell skate in any colourzz :(

jeffrey campbell lita in black :(9999

jeffrey campbell benched in black grainy leather/grey/beige black

chanel necklace

vintage housephone!!!

ktm, drz, cbr, vespa or wr please!

OR MAYBE SOMEONE TO PAY FOR MY INSURANCE????????????????? :( i'm willing to pay for my own license. hahahahhah

chocolate cake or vanilla birthday cake :D :D :D

hello kitty helmet and soft toy :)

lava lamp

jeanssss!

high waist shorts

cropped teeeee ^_^

that's all i can think of right now!

(to be updated again ha ha ha ha :p )

if you wanna gimme cash, it'd be better. HAHAHAHAAHAHA

but......okay i think i should be more realistic...... nobody is gonna be so nice to get me anything i listed. ^^

You'll never take my family away.

say hello to my new ink! :)

2011-05-26T14:09:00.003+08:00

last morning we slept together, in the most innocent sense of the phrase. I don’t know, I guess something about being able to synchronize our breathing to our own heartbeats really attracts me to the idea. I fell asleep to the sound of your voice and the smell of your hair. we cuddled and told each other childhood stories before finally falling into a silent bliss. you said I snored and you teased me about it. I want to be able to wake you up with a dozen kisses, just to stare into your eyes and silently communicate to you just how much I love you, because I just can’t find the words.

2011-05-23T20:49:00.001+08:00

no we didn't broke up. we didn't even started.

2011-05-22T01:32:00.001+08:00

eh so now i found out my ex's family are regulars at my workplace. CCB.

2011-05-20T23:43:00.000+08:00

thank you for the text annoying boy (:

you break her heart, i'll break your neck.

2011-05-20T01:16:00.000+08:00

2011-05-14T01:29:00.002+08:00

by 2012, I must own a fucking bike. I'm halfway there guyssssssssssssssssss! :D :D :D

2011-05-11T23:22:00.002+08:00

it feels weird not wearing my bra and walking around the house. ha ha ha.
but anyways i'm really really really happy today my sister came to work with eugene to visit me! it was a surprise, i was helping my fwen to tie her hair. so so sooooo happy! :) and i get to work with my favorites at work but at the same time it feels weird without you. please come back soon from your leave? ):

2011-05-07T22:07:00.000+08:00

Do you remember the day when you held my hand so tightly?
I miss you so terribly.

gariessssssss

2011-04-29T21:18:00.004+08:00

they looook fantastically pretty in real life.

garies very very very damaged hairrrrr.

april is ending! in 2 days timeeeeeee! and 1st of may would be my beloved sister's birthday :D i can't wait to celebrate with my sister and and and soon it will be my birthday! :D and I hope may wld be good. xxxxxxxxxxxxxx :)
so nyways! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZOE! :) &&&&&& I miss akira and akiko. :(

2011-04-28T13:41:00.003+08:00

skrillex, deadmau5, markus schulz, not bad what to stay in singapore ^_^

2011-04-27T21:32:00.003+08:00

i honestly don't understand how childish my ex boyfriend can be!
you know you're getting on my nerves.... honestly....... i want nothing to do with you. you know why i said you were a part of me a few months back? that was because i felt LONELY i quarreled with capunx. all I wanted was my camera, clothes and charger back but you, being so childish. HAHAHAHA nvm! you can have them all ^_^
and fucking hell you're not a part of me.

HAHHAHA you know why i'm writing this? because your dearest friend just told me something. :) :) :)

this is my blog........ freedom of speech! ^_^

ps thank you for removing pictures of us off your profile picture album. :)

2011-04-23T15:10:00.001+08:00

all I could remember was drinking and puking outside zouk and I was ended up at home when I woke up in the morning. that's how fucked up I was.

2011-04-13T19:12:00.002+08:00

i wasted too much time thinking about you and i know you didn't think about me for a second.

on the bright sideeeeeeeeeeeeee, i can't wait for tomorrow. ^_____^

2011-04-12T22:36:00.002+08:00

ubin and haircut with gary. ^________^

2011-04-08T23:14:00.001+08:00

She moved on. And I feel sorry for you because she thought you were the most amazing boy ever. If she could have had any guy in the world, she still would have picked you. Now, you're just another part of her past. A memory more faded everyday. And someday, she'll find the one she deserves and he will make her the happiest girl in the world.

2011-04-07T00:28:00.000+08:00

You’d know that it hurts. Everyday. Every second of the day I can feel my broken heart deep inside my chest. You want nothing to do with me. I’m sorry that I lied to you when I broke up with you, but it had to be done. But I hate you for putting me through this hell. As much as I don’t want to admit it, I want you back. I tell everyone I don’t care, and now you think that I don’t as well. But trust me, I do… If you really knew me, you’d know that I want you to see what you’ve lost even though I know that you still like me and want me to hurt because of what I did. I’m sorry, but I still hate/love you. I hope one day when you finally decide to stop ignoring me I can put you through the hell you put me

2011-04-04T10:42:00.001+08:00

what if i tell you guys i'm getting married soon...? :S

2011-04-01T15:29:00.002+08:00

HEHEHE. Today is April fools
so somebody told me that my ex-boyfriend tweeted something related to me.
i just find it childish, coz he wants to let everyone on his twitter to know about it and make fun of it. Yes go ahead... I'm not affected at all. i'm having the time of my life... look at yours. thank god i don't have to fucking suffer with you. HAHA

"miss my ex girlfriend terribly.....have to admit. YEAH right April fools mother fuckers Hahahahahaha she's a b****" (that was what he wrote on twitter)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

you guys wanna know something? he actually told me before that he wanted to make my life difficult because I have a boyfriend. HAHAHAHAHAH DON'T BE A JOKE LAAAAAAAAAA.
^_________^ bring it on ^________^

i don't expect anything but you gave me everything, thank you. :)

2011-03-27T10:37:00.005+08:00

bar @ clarke quayyyyy

my all time favourite italy ice-cream! :D

that's Dolce Vita! :P

after working for 6 days straight, 2 shifts a day. today is finally my off day. yes I'll be back to work on monday, only a shift but after monday I'd be back to 2 shifts a day. I never knew working would be so difficult. :(

april is coming which means I'm another step closer to december, I'm grateful for everything.

I'm turning 18 in like less than 3 months.

oh boy, I don't quite wanna grow up just yet! :(

BOOOO! SCARE YOU! HAHAHAHAHA

happy sunday to everyone! i'm gonna head back to bed and and and bake and and and exercise!

2011-03-20T16:10:00.000+08:00

fuck you fuck you fuck you. i look like some atm machine to you?!

2011-03-20T12:16:00.001+08:00

I feel like a lost little girl.
I need a hug so so badly, but they're either not by my side or too tired for me.
I wish they'd make me feel as important as they say I am.
And not throw the hundreds of excuses at me.
I am no dummy.

2011-03-17T20:45:00.000+08:00

MALAYSIA WITH MY BBY N!!1

2011-03-16T02:46:00.003+08:00

When I'm with you, I act different. In a good way. I smile more and laugh more. I don't have to pretend everything is okay when it's really not. With you, I can drop the fake smile and put on a real one. I don't feel hurt and alone when I'm with you. Instead, I feel safe and loved. You're easy to talk to, and you listen to me. I don't have to worry about holding back with you. I don't feel self conscious. I don't ever feel insecure or sad. you show me that you really do care, and you're not just pretending. I really appreciate your company, because with you I'm different. With you, I'm happy.

yes we still talk, everyday... but look, we used to talk so much more like almost everything, now we're not. you know i can't always be the one fighting.............

1 step closer to split tongue.
1 step closer to 45kg.
1 step closer to see my boyfriend.

i'm the happiest girl on earth. hahahahaha

2011-03-12T15:45:00.001+08:00

i just read eunice's blog... and i'm smiling to myself.. i'm glad that she came into my life. :) i'll be meeting her shortly and i'll post photos of me and her soon!!!!!!!!

I'm the girl. You're the boy. You text me first or we don't talk today.

2011-03-10T13:31:00.001+08:00

2011-03-10T02:46:00.001+08:00

he doesn't appreciate me...

There's always gonna be that thing you hate but can't change. That one mistake you can't take back and that one memory you would do anything to have again.

2011-03-07T18:25:00.003+08:00

"Days go by so fast, not a day do I not think of you. Missing you is the hardest part of my days, my days without you..”

" If two past lovers can remain friends, it's either they were NEVER in love or they STILL are. "

i'm coming home i'm coming home, tell the world i'm coming home.

2011-03-07T00:11:00.001+08:00

hey bestfriend, i really miss you.

2011-03-06T03:46:00.002+08:00

capunx : you must never ever do drugs if I am not beside you.

me : but you took ganja infront of me through webcam, very very naughty la you!

capunx : -giggles-

i miss my boy already!!! :( :(

2011-03-05T21:30:00.001+08:00

Listen you asshole, I fucking love you. okay?

webcam session with my boy :)

2011-03-04T01:49:00.001+08:00

aww see my boy holding onto a photograph? it's a photo of us... :) heh.

2011-03-02T01:46:00.000+08:00

I WANT TO OWN A FUCKING LITA.

JOHN 21ST BIRTHDAY.

2011-02-28T19:37:00.007+08:00

yep that's my brother's 21st birthday cake!!! :P

me and vivian's idea of course!

this cake was a gift from Carousel for my brother. Carousel has awesome service though it's kinda pricey. It was 80 per person but it was totally worth it laaa.

after that vivian and I headed to cine to meet alvin, gail, liping, desmond and tamaleh boy for cosmic gate @ zouk and it was okaaaaaaaay la. ^_____^

looking forward to march! ;)

2011-02-23T23:36:00.002+08:00

I waited for you. I waited for you and you never came back for me. You broke me and I'm glad because if you hadn't I would never have met him or be his girl..

2011-02-22T22:32:00.003+08:00

try flirting with my boy and i shall start world war 3. heeeeheeeeeeheeeee

2011-02-21T23:33:00.001+08:00

7464.) All I want to do is hug you and kiss you and hold you close. But I can't, because you live miles away from me.

2011-02-20T17:22:00.002+08:00

he's way too nice to me... he gives in every fucking time when i'm wrong.

i'm always mean to him, i don't deserve such a wonderful guy... :(

2011-02-17T23:04:00.000+08:00

yes i still care about you, yes You.

2011-02-14T01:54:00.002+08:00

happy valentines day!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

so who is your valentine? :D

2011-02-11T23:38:00.001+08:00

because of you i'm fucking afraid of losing him and i hate you for that.

2011-02-11T21:51:00.004+08:00

last friday i was at zouk for mstrkrft.

this friday i'm at home drawing!!!! ^_______^ hehehehehe

i love today very much I webcam with my boyfriend. :D :D :D heeheeeheee

byebye i'm gonna continue my drawing!

2011-02-10T15:58:00.001+08:00

so we had a talk... :')

i love you.

Humans are unforgiving,when one says he/she has forgiven someone,its simply bullshit its total crap.its when he/she has choosen to move on n forget,not forgive.

2011-02-09T22:03:00.001+08:00

this is hurting me... you know?

2011-02-08T04:26:00.002+08:00

i'm so fucking happy tonight because my boyfriend sang to me, aww aww aww.

SO HAPPY!!!

2011-02-07T22:34:00.001+08:00

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK... KNOW WHAT?

i saw Yoji's mom in town today. IT WAS FUCKING AWKWARD...... GOD.......

2011-02-07T13:27:00.002+08:00

you always know how to make me smile. you never fail to make me smile eventhough we're so far away from each other. just look at the facebook post I wrote and what he replied. I feel loved. *_*

i've never been so faithful to anyone before... i totally can't be bothered with ANY other boys. I just want to keep him all by myself. :(

i miss you.

i want to see you. mau mau mauuuuu :(

HAPPY NEW YEAR. HARI RAYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-02-05T23:28:00.002+08:00

2011-02-01T13:16:00.002+08:00

Have you noticed those bags under her eyes? Those are there to show you how much she cares for you. She stays up late each night, not being able to get any sleep because she's worried about you and what you will do. She spends her night being more worried about the situation she's in instead of her test she has tomorrow. Those long endless nights of crying, wishing on eleven-eleven and just hoping for a miracle. She barely stays awake at school, all she wants is some sleep and to clear her head from everything that's going on. If you did care about her, you wouldn't let her be like this. You would do everything you can to change it all around.

I can't wait until I can finally hold you, kiss you goodnight and goodmorning, watch movies with you all night, just talk for hours, to just hold your hand. Distance really sucks, but it's worth it all in the end, it really is, I miss you boy.

2011-01-31T23:51:00.002+08:00

*_________*

TOMORROW I WILL EXERCISE.

I PROMISE.

I SWEAR.

HAHAHAHAHHAHA FML I GREW FATTER :(

2011-01-24T18:02:00.006+08:00

i miss babyboy so much. :(

its okay its okay its okay! god has eyes....

pacarku dan aku membuat janji bahawa kita akan di valentine-meraya kanbersamayang sama bahkan jika kita tidak bersama-sama waktu berikutnya, akusangatmencintaimu. :) Jadi aku hanya mengatakan kepada anak-anak bahawa sayacowok pertama yang pernah memberikan sebuah ciuman di pipi pada hari ulang tahunmereka, dan ia adalah yang pertama! hahahahahhahaha dia khusus untuk saya! malumalu malu! : P

my mom is understanding enough to let me go indonesia alone during december! pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee december come faster i want to go there to play with my boy's dreadlock and i want to hug him so tightly. :(((((((((((

hahaha so now i'm a wife and i have a husband! hahahaha

2011-01-24T03:02:00.000+08:00

i want someone to sing me twinkle twinkle little starssssssssss? :(

2011-01-24T00:26:00.003+08:00

I like being independent, makes me proud...

so now I paid for my own chinese new year clothing, not mom's!!!!!!!!!! :P Bigger wardrobe and bigger hole in my pocket! Hahaha but it's okay, work starts on Tuesday! Long and busy week ahead!

And I'm currently finding for a school... I'm looking for an art school, any recommendations??????? :(

i miss you bestfriend, i'll be praying for you.

you are strong, you will be fine.

i love you

2011-01-22T22:44:00.001+08:00

i need you to be okay.

i need you in my life.

i need you now.

i just want you to be okay.

i fucking swear i can't fucking lose you, you fucking mean a lot to me. you're like a blood sister to me. I fucking need you to be alright, you get it?

2011-01-22T22:21:00.000+08:00

hello boyfriend i know you are looking at this.

i just wanna tell you i love you and i miss you VERY much. :(

:'(

2011-01-22T02:39:00.000+08:00

"He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you."

Bob Marley

2011-01-22T02:05:00.001+08:00

i feel so terrible right now.

i wish i could do something for my best friend right now. I really wish to.

2011-01-21T01:04:00.001+08:00

i miss spending my entire week with my boy.

2011-01-20T23:48:00.000+08:00

i wish my boyfriend could reply me now but he's too busy working... :(

2011-01-20T13:52:00.001+08:00

alcoholsexcigarettes

you just killed me with your words...

2011-01-20T13:11:00.003+08:00

the boy just made me smile early in the morning x)

2011-01-19T19:38:00.002+08:00

day 3... :(

2011-01-18T22:17:00.003+08:00

now i totally understand why one of your ex girlfriend left you.

because you fucking think you're always right, so what if you're good with words? do you think you're even fucking good enough for someone? you never ever fucking give assurances or securities to your girl and you are motherfucking selfish and don't you worry, none of your words are gonna bring me down. :)

i'm writing this post because i am so fucking mad with you and i don't want anything to do with you anymore. you're the most childish guy ever.

2011-01-18T20:48:00.001+08:00

today i bought a dress from ACDC and i thought about my boyfriend too x)

2011-01-18T11:00:00.002+08:00

Oh my god it's only been two days and I miss you so much already.  I regretted coming back to singapore a day earlier. :( When we both just started and now we're so far away from each other. I don't care if you're here or not during Valentines day, as long as you're coming to Singapore soon. :)

I remember I was drunk last friday night in YOUR CAFE and you were so worried, that's how we started... You carried me to Infai's car cause I could barely walk.... You sent me more than 10 texts while I was sleeping cause you were worried................................................................ miss you like fuck laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

2011-01-18T10:31:00.001+08:00

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

2011-01-17T17:13:00.005+08:00

The day you went away I was terribly upset. but never would I expect myself to move on so fast infact i'm happy right now at least I wasn't the one who left you, you left me so it doesn't matter. I fought for you, but maybe it wasn't enough and I am tired of fighting for you too. but because of you, I learnt a lot and I sincerely thank you for that but you made me realize that I was fighting for nothing. I wanted to accept you for who you are but you said you couldn't accept me for who I am. and now I got something better in return.

SO NOW........... THE GOOD NEWS IS, SAYANG WILL BE COMING TO SINGAPORE NEXT MONTH. ^_^
*dances around ma room*
but the boy doesn't want me to pay his air ticket for next month because he said if i do it wouldn't be meaningful. I just felt butterflies in my stomach.

2011-01-17T02:38:00.004+08:00

I hope we'll work things out even though we're very far away from each other. I miss singing with you, I miss touching your dreadlocks, I miss you pinching my nose, I miss you touching my hair, I miss you feeding me, I miss riding your bike, I miss your silly laughs, I miss how possessive you can get, I miss how you're able to stop me from smoking and drinking, I miss your arm around me, I miss you teasing me, I miss you existence. Nobody is doing those to me now. :(

see you on February, i hope.

2011-01-06T17:44:00.000+08:00

today, 6th of january 2010 is our 6th monthsary.
we're not celebrating.

am i suppose to be sad?

2011-01-03T21:15:00.000+08:00

my boy is back, but i'm sick. :(

2011-01-02T00:38:00.002+08:00

You always make me happy, you're like my happy pill... I feel lost and terrible without talking to you. You're sick now and I can't do anything, I feel useless. when I was having fever, you came down my place with McDonald, fillet o-fish and you made a smiley face out from th burger! How sweet and adorable of you.
Tomorrow I'm going over to your place with chocolates, yoghurt, and myself!!!!!!

2011-01-01T23:08:00.000+08:00

you always chose to stay silent. and even in this final moments where you know you could lose me for good you'll just let this slip away. if theres anything i'll ever hate you for, its for giving up on this.

im fcking tired. bye

2010-12-31T23:07:00.002+08:00

It's 2011 in less than an hour which means I'm gonna be 18 in about 6 months time... I'm getting older! So this is probably my last post for 2010... A new year, a better me! Hope 2011 will be good for me, keeping my fingers crossed.

I thought about it in the bus earlier on.... I grew up the way many youngest children grow up, pampered, adored, and maybe inwardly tortured. I dreamed of being an actor, singer, teacher, air stewardess, top-model, chef and more. I have two siblings, an elder sister and an elder brother. They were the good students, I was the bad; they were obedient, I broke the rules; they stayed away from drugs and anything illegal, I tried everything you could ingest. I wish I could be a better person, I really do. I never want to hurt my loved ones again, n-e-v-e-r.

2010-12-31T22:25:00.001+08:00

i have been a bad girl, a really bad girl.

2010-12-30T21:59:00.003+08:00

It's gonna be 2011 soon.
So, 2010. You’ve been a cunt. The first half of the year, it was like a roller coaster ride... Finding a school, court, family shit.. I can't really remember. The second half… I became pretty much 24/7, sleeping, studying, Akiko, family, friends and Yoji. I found a new love for class's alpha because they were particularly good at making me feel numb, and lost pretty much everything I had till I found Yoji, my boyfriend, currently. Yes I am in love. Love wins, love always win. There's nothing that I want more, than for my family, Akiko and Yoji to be safe and happy. Am I going to moan about it? No. Am I going to sit here and look as pathetic as some people so others feel sorry for me? No. I’ve picked myself up, done with my major exams (at least for now), got a new boyfriend (6 months ago), stopped taking meth and ‘drone and toughened up. Don’t use what happened as an excuse to be a cunt for the rest of your life. So who cares if I did drugs to cope with how I felt? Who cares if I have tattoos? Who cares if I made out with someone's boyfriend? Who cares that I love my best friend just like I do for my family? Who cares if I'm willing to sacrifice for my boyfriend? Who cares if I watch myself bled? Who cares that I missed taking drugs after I stopped? If it wasn’t for the amount of shit you(no one in exact) put me through, I wouldn’t be able to change myself for the better. So, thank you cause I am stronger than before, that's one thing I know for sure.
& here's to all the memories. Here's to everything we've lost. Here's to everything we love. Here's to the ones who care and protect us with all they have. Here's to a better year for everyone.

With lotsa hugs and kisses,
Amelia